2 months, 15 days: life as we know it

I'm almost to the 3 month mark! The point where I should be pretty much almost healed and things will just slowly improve from here on out. I will say that I still have pain, mainly in my lower right jaw. My jaw also spasms occasionally still. I cannot open as wide as I used to yet either. All of these things I will bring up to my surgeon when I see him on the 10th of December. Life has slowly gone back to almost normal. I'm working, going out, working out and enjoying life as I used to. I have made great progress in the past two and a half months and hope to continue on that road. Only time will tell as to how everything will end up. As I type I'm enjoying a nice bowl of soup, still on softer foods. After this, I never need to see another bowl of soup again. I'm doing my smoothies in the morning and surprisingly I'm not sick of them yet. I actually enjoy a good smoothie in the morning, it's become my little routine. I have even moved back to my regular bed from the hospital bed recently, giving faith that Jake will not punch me in his sleep. I have even had a few glasses of wine 🍷 lately. How I missed it! There is just something about a glass of wine after a long day. So relaxing . My stepdad is having surgery today and soon he will know the joys of anesthesia and recovery. I don't think any surgery is easy and for me the anesthesia really took effect. I hope I don't have to go under again ever or at least not for a very long time. I'll just enjoy my new smile and be happy! 

Just me loving my life!

2 months 5 day: confidence

The reason I elected to have this surgery is because my doctors told me that it was my only option, medically. If I wanted to eat correctly, breath correctly, have an unobstructed airway, and not have my teeth ruined at a young age, my only option was surgery. Braces alone was not going to cut it. Besides the medical benefits, there are also cosmetic benefits to having jaw surgery. Do I think cosmetic reasons alone justify the procedure? For me, no but, I can say that my self confidence has risen since the surgery. I used to over compensate for my severe overbite, jetting my lower jaw forward at all times. I had to think before I took a picture, jaw forward but not too much, make it look natural. When I was around people I was super self conscious about it. I just thought everyone was staring at my horrible over bite and lack of lower jaw. My side profile was something I never wanted to see or anyone to see for that matter. Everyone has something about themselves that they wish was different but mine was something huge. You can wear jeans to cover up your cellulite, you can put on makeup to cover up your acne, but there is no covering up the shape of your face. And it might seem silly to some, and maybe it is, but this surgery has given me more confidence. I no longer worry about moving my jaw in the correct way to smile. I don't care if people stare at my profile. I don't feel like an ugly nurse shark anymore (that's how I thought my teeth looked). I love my new face and smile! Below is a picture of a nurse shark and how I thought my teeth used to look.

And here is me now! No longer a nurse shark!

Dat side profile doe...

Its officially been 2 months!

Today is officially the 2 month mark since the surgery. Looking back I cannot believe how far I have come in just 60 days! I'm still on a soft food diet and I'm not 100 percent back to my regular work schedule but I have been walking on the treadmill, working full 10 hour days, and I've started wearing heels again! There are still parts of my face and mouth where I do not have 100 percent feeling but I'm confident that most of it will come back. I can tell that there is a lot of scar tissue in my upper jaw area that I need to try to break through. Talking, chewing and doing some mouth exercises will help to break that up and return to normal. To fully heal from this surgery takes a year, although after 3 months the healing is slower and not as noticeable. If I were to go back in time, I would do the exact same thing I did and have the surgery all over again. The first few weeks were very hard but it has been worth it. I can breath better, swallow better, my bite is better, and I have not had a headache since the surgery. As someone who had migraines daily, that fact alone made this surgery worth it. I'm shocked by how many people I've talked to either know someone who had the surgery or know someone who were told they needed the surgery. I've been very lucky to have a wonderful support system around me to help me through this very difficult recovery. I don't think I would be healing as well as I am if I didn't have so many people supporting me. So, thank you everyone!!! Until the next post 🙂

Day 53: work out!

Day 53, almost 2 months in! I'm still on a soft food diet because my teeth and jaw cannot handle hard foods. My jaw also cannot open as wide as it used to yet so it is hard to eat anything too big. I tried to eat some chicken salad last Thursday and let's just say my jaw got a good work out that night when the chicken salad decided it wasn't going to stay in my stomach. I don't know if I over ate or if I just had some bad chicken salad. I worked  over 50 hours in the last two weeks which is really good considering I haven't worked in almost 2 months. Today after work I decided to try out the gym for the first time since the surgery. I didn't do anything too strenuous, just walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes. That was about all that my little body could handle. I'm hoping to get back to the gym another 2 times this week to get my energy back up and try to get back to normal. Every day gets better! 

Day 49: back to work, back to work

It's officially been 7 weeks! Everything has been going very well. I still have some numbness. My lower lip and chin are tingly but have not regained full feeling. The ledt side of my nose is completely numb and I doubt I will get feeling back. Also, the left side of my tongue has only minor feeling in it. They say whatever feeling you have after 3 months will be what you are stuck with. I'm hoping to regain full feeling in my lip and chin, as far as the rest, I would be ok if I didn't get feeling back although I'd prefere to have all feeling. With my splint now gone (good riddance), I can talk and also am eating a soft food diet. I have gone back to work and am doing arrangements again. I worked 2 8 hour days in a row and that took a lot out of me. You know when you spell has HA3, you need to be done working for a hot minute. I think I've healed really well so far. I can't wait to see what everything will look like after 90 days. 

Day 44: Reborn

This week has been great! 6 weeks after surgery and on Wednesday I finally got my splint taken out! It was the nastiest yet most satisfying event. After 6 weeks of not being able to fully brush my teeth, I finally got to brush them! And I did so for 5 min. My surgeon looked at me like I was crazy but I didn't care. I felt reborn. I can talk pretty much normally now. And guess what?! I can eat soft foods! My friend and I actually went to KFC and I ate my weight in mashed potatoes. It was glorious! Yesterday was my first day back to the orthodontist. I was dreading it and rightfully so. When your jaw is still healing from being sawed apart the last thing you want is for someone to put new wires and rubber bands and other metally things in your mouth to make it move more. BUT no pain no gain. If I want my braces off before the wedding then we have to be aggressive and I would like to have my braces off before the wedding. As of now I will enjoy my soft food diet and the new look of my teeth!

Day 38: you're hot then you're cold

I have past the one month mark! Wooohooo! I can say that from beginning to now a lot has changed. The swelling is way down, a coworker the other day actually said I didn't really look like I was swollen anymore and could just pass as having a fat face (still don't know if this is a compliment or not). The pain isn't as bad tho I'm experiencing a new type of pain. My lower right side of my jaw is extremely sensitive to hot and cold. When I drink anything too hot or cold there is a sharp shooting pain down my jaw into my neck. I used to have to have ice in my water or I seriously couldn't drink it, now I have to wait for it to reach room temperature for it to be tolerable. I've read that other people have experienced this as well and it goes away so I'm hoping it will work itself out over time. I really don't have any upper jaw pain anymore, it all seems to be located in my lower jaw now. I have worked 3 times in the past week, for a few hours each time. It's been good trying to get back to normal but I still am not ready for a full work day and I can't do the normal things I would do on the job. I've pretty much just been doing office work and pushing paper because I can't really talk that much or that well still and am on restrictions as far as lifting, pushing and pulling goes. I've said goodbye to the syringes and I have never looked back. This week I tried 2 non liquid meals. First, was mashed potatoes with BBQ sauce on them. It tasted like BBQ chips! I ate a few spoonfuls and was full. Then I made some spaghetti and cut it up very small to eat it. I ended up making a mess and spilling spaghetti all over myself but it tasted good. Little successes. This upcoming Wednesday I get the splint out (thank god) and then Thursday is my first orthodontist appointment since the surgery! I'm sure Thursday will be the worst day ever. After having your skull sawed apart the last thing I want is hand poking and prodding and moving wires and elastics around everywhere. I'm bracing myself for an uncomfortable experience and I assume I'm going to hate my life and be in a lot of pain after. As the saying goes, no pain, no gain right?

Day 31: priorities before and after surgery

A friend and I were texting today and home how we got on the topic on priorities. What are our life priorities? As she listed some of her's I realized my priorities as of late are very different from just 4 weeks ago. 4 weeks ago my priorities were to make it through work, relax with some wine, see friends and family, and pay my bills on time. Now? My priorities are to relearn how to talk, eat with a spoon, drink from a cup, and not drool all over myself. Oh and Bones, this series is very high on the priority list. To sum this up? I need to get back to my old priorities, especially the wine. 🍷

Day 29: When your syringe don't work like it used to before...

I'm channeling my inner Ed Sheran today. None of my syringes work anymore. I guess they have a 4 week life span. So I decided I was going to just drink my ensure straight up, with my mouth. AND it worked!!!! So now I'm enjoying my free venti white mocha (thank you Asian woman who didn't understand what drink she ordered) with my mouth! So syringe suckling! It's fantastic. Utterly fantastic. I also went to my surgeon yesterday (well the resident saw me) and she informed me I have ulcers all over my mouth, which I already knew. I've been throwing salt everywhere in my mouth to get rid of them. My friend says whiskey does the trick but I seem to be all out of that. I have pain still but it's not as bad as before. Now, I'm going to sip on Starbucks like a normal human. 

Day 24: Zombie? I think so...

Past the 3 week mark. I wasn't scheduled to see my surgeon this week but I never do things as scheduled. I was in major pain starting last Saturday and on Wednesday I was over it. So I woke Jake up at 6am and told him to drive me to the U of M. They poked at my mouth, "Does this hurt?" They said, and I thought, no dumbass, you're just poking where you ripped my jaws apart and screwed them back in, doesn't hurt at all. Then they took some X-rays, showed me my new hardware, gave me new prescriptions and sent me on my way. I'm doing better now, to say I'm not in pain would be lying but I'm better. The pain is not the worst part right now, what is the worst? I think I have turned into a zombie. Or soon I will be one. Yup like walking dead I wanna eat your brains. Why? Because I'm starving. I could eat anything right now. Grilled leg? Sounds fab. Ok not really but when you have been suckling liquid from a syringe like a Guinea pig for 3 weeks you get pretty desperate. I cannot wait to eat real food. I almost blended chicken nuggets the other day. I didn't but it was close. 🍗

Day 17: I am not normal

I have passed the two week! Yay! I have my 2 week check up with my surgeon two days ago and he said everything is going well. No infection so that's a plus. I am still very swollen, so much to the point where I am actually biting into my cheeks because they are still so big. There isn't much to do about it other than wait for the swelling to go down but I have feeling in my cheeks so it hurts like a bitch constantly. I no longer have the super raw feeling anymore so that's a plus. My pain is more of a sharp stabbing or aching now. I'm getting more and more "twitching" of my muscles happening which really hurts and then I must be getting feeling back in my gums/teeth because they just hurt like the dickens. Still taking my oxy as needed. My surgeon wants to see me in 2 weeks and splint will be out in 4 more weeks. I've actually been feeling really good because I can talk now, obviously it's not like my normal talking but people can understand me and there are days when I don't even have to take a nap! That being said, today taught me that i am far from being back to normal. My fiancé and I went to a hotel to celebrate my sister's 11 birthday. I didn't swim, just hung out in the hot tub and played some games. At 7pm I was in so much pain that I needed my oxy and I'm just drained. It was a long day. So as much as I would love to think that I'm back to being me, I most definitely am not. I'm doing better, slowly, day by day but I am no where near being 100 percent. I would say I'm running at about 50 percent right now but each week gets better. This time last week I couldn't talk at all and was doing all liquid medicine and now I can somewhat talk and take pills. I think the recovery is just going to take some time. I'm not the most patient person, especially with myself, so the slow healing is really hard for me. I'm ready to throw myself back into my old life but my body cannot handle it and today was a true test of that. I just have to remind myself that in the end, I will be back to myself and I will be even better with new and improved jaws!

Day 11

Out of all the blogs I have read about double jaw surgery, not one of them has ever described the pain they were feeling after surgery as how mine has felt. My mouth is just raw. It feels like someone took something hot and seered the entire inside of my mouth and now it is healing. It just feels so raw. It is an odd and weird pain sensation because how many times has anyone been injured where you just feel raw. Other than a burn, I can't really think of anything else. This feeling hit its peak around day 6/7 and isn't as bad today. I have more energy now than I did a few days ago. I used to have to nap twice a day (usually once around 11am and again around 5pm) but now I'm feeling pretty good with just taking one nap in the afternoon. I've been showering daily and going on walks. I can also "brush" my teeth now with my Winnie the Pooh pediatric toothbrush. I say "brush" because I can barely open my mouth and I still have the splint in so there is only so much I can really get to. My intake of pain meds is also much less than before. I take them about 3 times a day and that's it. I went in for my 1 week preop last Thursday and everything looked great. My surgeon wants to keep my splint in for 6 weeks due to the expansion of my upper palate, I hate the damn splint but I'd rather leave it in for the best end result. I go back for my 2 week this Thursday!

Day 6 you are the worst

I barely got any sleep last night because I have been in constant pain. The entire inside of my mouth feels raw. It's like I can feel my pulse through my entire mouth. I got up and out of the house today and went to my sister's school and the chiropractor... And then I came home and slept for over 2 hours. It legit wiped everything out of me. One of my rubber bands also snapped today so my mother and I spent an hour trying to fish the broken one out of my mouth and wrangle the new one in. Honestly, it was a pretty eventful day. I'm hoping for less pain tomorrow! 

Day 3 post op

I'm actually feeling really good. I just took my first shower and am about to take a walk outside. I have been having major jaw spasms which hurt like a bitch but they pass fairly quickly. I have feeling back in almost all my face already which is awesome! I know there was a chance that some feeling might never come back but things are looking good for me! I'm ready for the swelling to go down. The biggest thing I've eaten is some Starbucks and I haven't 💩 since Thursday but baby steps. First week is the hardest so I'm slowly moving into better times!

1 day post op

I am very sore and very swollen. Yesterday after the surgery I barely remember anything. I know I had two panick attacks that they treated right away. I was discharged today around 2pm so I am in the comfort of my home. I had to share a room in the hospital and I was not happy with that so I got myself up and peed and popped and met all the requirements to go home. I can't talk and  I am only on liquids (clear). The worst part of the surgery was the 10 times they poked me before finding a vein for iv

Or maybe it was the latex catheter they used when I said 900 times I was allergic

To latex. Oh well at least I'm home and healing!

Less than 48 hours till surgery

The big day is almost here! I have to be at the university of Minnesota medical center by 545am on Wednesday the 16. I just finished running errands on the final things I'll need. It feels a little like Y2K at our house with cases of ensure, chicken broth, soup, etc to get my through the liquid diet. Got my pediatric toothbrush today which is super cute with a baby version of Winnie the Pooh on it. I've got my ninja blender and all my necessities to make my smoothies. I'm ready for this! Bring it on! Hopefully I'll be up and able to blog after the surgery!

 

I've got the London look!

Great day today! After visiting with my orthodontist, I was finally able to begin scheduling my surgery! Whoop! They are going to do a two piece upper now instead of breaking it into three, so now I have a huge Gap in the middle of my two front teeth (looking like that annoying British model in the rimmel London commercial). But I get to have my surgery so I'll take the gap! My pre-op appointment is on August 4 to make sure I don't drop dead while they are sawing my face in half. Once I'm good and cleared for surgery, I will set the date!

It's been too long

I know, I know, I haven't posted in FOREVER! We all know the saying, "life happens" and it's so true. For the past 4 months my life has been consumed with house hunting but, we have officially purchased our forever home! Now that this stressor is gone I can get back to my favorite subject, double jaw surgery. Since I have last posted, my surgeon has officially become Dr. Tu at the U of M and my insurance has accepted to pay for my necessary reconstruction (God is good). I actually schedule my surgery the next time I go in, July 9! I am so so so ready to have this surgery. Will it suck? Yes. Will I be the most anxious person you have ever seen once I have a date? Hell yes. Am I excited for 3 months of a liquid diet? No. Am I ready? Fuck yes. Strap me down, put me out, and saw away. The surgeon has decided he may be able to only break my top jaw in 2 pieces instead of three (great). I'll update again after the 9th about surgery date!